So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Drunk is not a location!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
