Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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