Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Two words: nipple clamps
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