I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
