it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
