hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I smell stomach acid.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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