when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
