Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
