Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
