im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
