There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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