I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
