it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
