remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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