i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
