I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize