She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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