you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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