i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
