You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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