walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
