come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
