Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
