it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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