Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
