Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize