His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
