It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
