that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
