She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
