Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.

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(503): View more from Oregon

My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.

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(512): View more from Texas

I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.

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(518): View more from New York

i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock

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(512): View more from Texas

Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.

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(914): View more from New York

Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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(925): View more from California

michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.

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(417): View more from Missouri

How drunk are you?

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Completed.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high

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