Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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