I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
