His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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