its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My feet surprised me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
