So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize