dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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