Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
