I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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