just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
