found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
