what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
