you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
