so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So squirting runs in the family.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
