My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
