the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
