dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize