you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
