he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
