It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize