Someone shit on the floor
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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