she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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