Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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