do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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