i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
this hospital has no fireball
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
