Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
