C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
