i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
