So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
