That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
