These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize