she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
