Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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