Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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