I am in a vortex of obligation.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
