hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
