HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
