I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
