the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
True strength comes from lack of pants
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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