I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize