My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
