Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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