I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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